This Reminds Me Of A Movie
by Fictionnaire
Summary: This is first in This Reminds Me Of A Movie series. Tony goes undercover but meets with an unfortunate accident with disastrous results for the women of NCIS. Maye AUish, may have Jenny in it.
1. Chapter 1

**(A/N) This is part of my THis Reminds Me Of A Movie Series... People might get what this is from in a couple of chapters. But hopefully this still will be enjoyed. Hey this is specifically just for enjoyment purposes.**

**THIS REMINDS ME OF A MOVIE**

Tony couldn't believe what he was roped into doing now. _I can't believe this._ He thought as he rubbed shaving cream up and down his leg which was propped up over the sink of the NCIS bathroom. Of all the missions he'd been given, this one was the worst by a long shot. The team needed someone to go undercover as a transvestite hooker to hang around a bar to find marine that was buying drugs from a transvestite and supplying it back onto base. They had to catch him in the act.

"What?" Agent Wilson asked as he entered the male toilets. His jaw dropped as he noticed Tony standing in his boxers with his shaving cream on his leg which was propped onto the sink. Tony DiNozzo was shaving his legs? This was too much information to take in all at once.

"Can I have some privacy?" Tony asked in a mad voice. Fortunately, there was nothing else said by the agent.

_As soon as I shave my hairy legs, I'm asking for a raise. Did I just think that?_ "Damn," Tony thought. Of course Abby had offered to shave his legs but she didn't want anyone with a razor near his legs.

Tony pulled the trousers over his 'Marvin The Martian' boxers and buttoned up. He brushed his trouser legs; he could feel the draft already. _I'm going to shoot the first person who laughs_. Tony thought as he rinsed the hair down the sink and flushed the toilet to make it sound like he was doing something else. Tony met the rest of his team down in Abby's lab.

* * *

He visibly cringed as Abby, Kate and McGee greeted him with large grins. "The trouble with girls," Tony said unsmiling.

"Strip," Abby said excitedly.

"Excuse me?" Tony asked in shock.

"Take your clothes off," Kate said.

Tony smirked as he removed the trousers and placed them on Abby's table. The cold draft touched his hairless legs. "Well, now what… Kate," Tony asked, His voice stoic, to hide the anger and embarrassment.

"Marvin The Martian?" Kate raised her eyebrows. "Get those boxers off and put these panties on," Kate ordered.

Tony never thought that he'd be fearful of stripping off in front of the girls. "Turn around," Tony said as he traced imaginary circles in the air with his finger. "Turn around." He told them a bit more forcefully.

"It's not like you have anything we haven't see before," Abby spoke up clasping her hands together.

"Hmm, maybe he does," Kate said.

"All of you just turn around," Tony ordered. He had to admit that the bright blue silky panties felt nice against his skin. That was something he'd never share with another soul… EVER. He adjusted it around the waist and crotch. "Ok," he said.

The three turned around at the same time. "Oh, they fit you perfectly," Abby exclaimed.

"How'd you guess his size Kate?" Abby asked.

McGee turned back around and paced the other side of the lab as he reached into his pocket to pull out his cell. "You take one photo of me and you're dead Probie," Tony warned him. "So are these silky blue panties yours, Kate… Ow," Tony felt Gibbs slap him upside the head.

"I would never lend you my panties, Tony," She said.

"Bra," Abby said as she handed it over and Kate fastened it up and stuffed it with tissues to fill out the cups.

"When I signed up to NCIS, I didn't sign up for this," Tony whined. "And when I said I wanted to get into a woman's panties… I did NOT mean it literally," he said.

"You know about someone dressing up as a transvestite to buy drugs from someone reminds me of a couple of episodes of Twin Peaks… Directed by David Lynch. David Duchovny plays a," Tony told them to cover up his embarrassment and hoped he wasn't blushing.

"Kate!" Gibbs pointed at Tony.

"On it," Kate knew exactly what Gibbs was asking for and she smacked Tony upside the head to shut him up.

"Hey," Tony huffed as Kate finished stuffing the bra._ This also reminds me of The Birdcage in a twisted way… Make me a woman._

"Now for this dress," Abby smiled brightly.

"Actually that looks really nice," _Don't tell me I just said that out loud._ He opened his eyes again and they were all looking at him with their mouths hitting the floor. "Oh, man," Tony complained.

He donned the dress that was missing its back and was low cut at the front. "Oh, that looks really nice on you Tony… That shade of blue really suits you," McGee joked trying hard to keep himself from laughing. Gibbs hid a large smirk behind a cup of coffee.

"Oh Tony," Abby said. "You look so cute in that dress. But we need to shave your back and chest where the dress dips," she commented.

"Shut up," Tony said.

"Tony, come into my office and I'll shave your back and chest where the dress exposes you," Abby winked at him, took his hand and dragged them into her office.

Tony was glad she pulled down the blinds. He felt her take the electric shaver and do his front and back. He now felt even more mortified if that were possible. He didn't even say a word as Abby used her skill and repeated the action a few times.

"There, now the dress looks better." She smiled, "Tony, you look so nice, but now we have to do the make-up, nails and wig, oh and the jewelry." the excitement in her voice made Tony more uncomfortable.

"Abs, please." Tony held up his hand to make her stop.

"Oh sweetie, it will be alright." Abby winked and then brought him back into the lab. "Better?" She looked around to everyone.

The only one who answered was Kate. "Much"

Tony just groaned. Could this get any worse? Oh wait, I still have the make-up and stuff to do. This day wasn't turning out the way he thought it would, he huffed and sat down.

"Tony, don't wrinkle the dress. A lady straightens out the dress and then sits down." Abby gently corrected, wanting him to calm down a bit before they started on him again.

"Abs, you and Kate finish him up." Gibbs groused before he turned to hide the grin. He hoped that someone would take photos with their cell camera, if he knew how he'd do it.

"How about time for some lipstick?" Kate asked.

"Definitely red," Gibbs had to turn away. This was just getting too funny to control himself.

"Red would really suit him. But Gibbs, a woman has to put on foundation first before the other stuff, oh and blush," Abby said quickly and then applied the foundation that she had picked out to match Tony's skin color. Then she added blush and then rubbed it in. She looked and admired her work. "What do you think Kate, just right?" Abby grinned at her work.

"Would you stop and finish me up. I'm not a Barbie." Tony huffed.

"No, you just date Barbies, or are they bimbos?" Kate snickered as she took the red lipstick.

"Ha ha, Kate." Tony said flatly and sat back on the stool, ready for his fate.

"Hold still Tony," Kate said as she tried to apply the lipstick evenly. "Now press your lips together," Kate showed him how to and he complied.

Tony had tasted plenty of lipsticks before but never off his own lips. "How does it look?" He asked nervously.

"Wait till they finish," Gibbs ordered. He was eager to see the reaction to the whole picture.

"Ok Tony, eye shadow and eye liner. And remember as hard as it is for you, stay still." Kate informed him. She held his lid closed with one finger from her hand. And then applied the eye shadow and liner with her other hand. "Perfect!" She exclaimed admiring her work.

"Tony, I love the blue eye shadow and black eye liner, wow, it matches your dress perfectly." Abby bounced with excitement.

Tony sat in silence, thinking the make-up was done, resigned to his fate, or at least for the moment.

He sighed realizing there was more to go. _Geez, how much make-up can a woman where? All the girls I've been with don't look like they wear all this. I now have a new appreciation for what they go through, he thought. Maybe he could get out of some of this female stuff._

Abby approached him to start applying the mascara. "Wait, isn't this taking things a little too far?" Tony protested as he leaned his head back as far as he could.

"DiNozzo!" Gibbs shouted across the lab. "Just have it done," he ordered.

"Keep still," Abby said. "Don't move or the magic mascara wand will poke your eye out," Abby tried to sound threatening. She then pointed with the wand in her hand to show what she meant.

McGee rubbed his mouth eagerly as they finished applying all the makeup. "You know, I need a name," Tony said. "A really good name… I was thinking about Brodie or Pussy Galore," Tony grinned at getting his suggestions in first. "Or…"

McGee and Kate turned bright red while Gibbs and Abby rolled their eyes. Gibbs cut Tony off before he could give anymore of his ridiculous suggestions. "I've got the perfect name for you DiNozzo… Honey Dust," Gibbs pointedly told he senior field agent.

Kate sniggered and McGee couldn't believe that Gibbs would even suggest that after what he heard. "Come on Boss… I told you that was a mistake," Tony pleaded for him to change the name. "The post office messed up," he tried to explain the situation. "It wasn't my fault," Tony said. "Please change it."

"No, Honey Dust," Gibbs replied flatly as he expertly didn't laugh at Tony's distress. He walked towards the elevator.

"Where are you going Boss?" Tony asked. He realized that he would be outnumbered and McGee will always side with Abby.

"Going for Coffee, Honey Dust," Gibbs answered gruffly, still hiding his laugh.

"Really funny Boss," Tony huffed and pouted. "Hey wait!"

Gibbs waited till the elevator doors closed and the smile that he's been holding back for some time broke through to the surface. He silently laughed as he rode the elevator.

"Damn," Tony cursed as he walked to the main part of the lab. "Do you think he was serious?" he looked hopefully at Kate and Abby.

"Yup," McGee, Abby and Kate answered in unison.

"I need a massage," Tony said. _Oh no, I did not just say that either._

"Now for the perfume," Kate said as she held onto a small bottle. "Here's a nice bottle," she said. "Now I spray it in the air and you just walk through it," Kate explained.

"Ah, Kate, why do I walk through it?" Tony asked with a curious look. "Why don't you just spray it on?" His eyes searched hers for an answer.

"I'll field this question, Kate," Abby said excitedly. "You want the perfume to smell nice… Not stink," Abby scrunched her nose and waved her hand like a fan. "And chase the boyfriends away," Abby concluded.

"I like that explanation Abbs," Kate commented.

"You would, Katie, you would," Tony was clearly annoyed.

"Come on Tony," Abby said while smiling. "Be a man and walk through that perfume mist," she concluded.

Tony sighed once again and tried to impersonate the women walking through sprayed perfume at a perfume counter. "Something still doesn't look right," Kate said.

"Shoes," McGee chimed in. This earned him a DiNozzo's _you're dead _stare.

"He's right! And, he needs stocking, the wig and jewelry." Abby grabbed a box from the monitor and wheeled a chair around for Tony to sit on.

Tony reluctantly put on the stockings. He then saw the shoes and wondered how the thin heels of the shoes were going to support his weight. Abby fixed his stockings and then put the shoes on. She then buckled the two straps on each one up. "How am I going to walk in these things?" Tony complained as he stood and immediately thought he was going to fall forward. As soon as he stood up, he felt like the high heel was slipping beneath him. "These are just impossible," Tony said. "What?" They were all laughing at him again.

"Ok, you have the nails glued on and I have to say I did a nice manicure. Now it's nail polish time, Tony," Kate said, holding up a few bottles of polish.

"I've got the wig," Abby said as she adjusted the long blonde hair on Tony's head and began brushing it as Tony placed his hand palm down on the desk.

"What color nail polish would you like?" Kate asked.

"Chrome blue," Tony answered, too quickly judging by the others' reaction.

Kate looked at Abby and McGee before fishing out a small chrome blue bottle. "There we are…" She was about to unscrew the lid to reveal the little brush.

"Actually how about a nice green to match my eyes," Tony said with a smile.

"How about black to match the black eye you're going to get if you don't make up your mind," Kate retorted.

"Chrome blue," Tony said quickly and waited for Kate to paint all his nails.

When Abby was finished with the wig she added the jewelry.

* * *

Tony was glad that nobody was on the NCIS floor except for Gibbs. Thankfully nobody else was there to poke fun at him. Abby and Kate thought it would be good to for Tony to actually practice walking around and not just going back and forth.

"Glide… Glide," Kate told him. "Now, remember you step with the heel first and do it like we showed you downstairs and add some hip movement."

"I'm not Miss Congeniality," Tony responded impatiently.

"Christ, you want everything?" Tony glared before he did as he was told.

"Oh oh, don't forget your voice. Remember how we told you how to use your voice?" Abby excitedly asked.

Tony raised his voice higher, "Yes, I sure do, Abs."

"Tony, just remember what all your girlfriends sound like." Kate laughed.

Gibbs stood up as soon he heard the voices approaching. He had to sit down again before he was noticed. Tony was surprisingly a good looking woman.. He wasn't surprised at how well Tony followed direction with his voice, now they were working on the walk. He had confidence, Tony was good undercover, even if it was to this length. Gibbs cleared his head to rid his mind of that horrible thought before standing back up.

"You're still walking like a man, Tony," McGee said.

"Walk this way," Kate said as she walked ahead of him while letting her hips swing side to side as she walked very much like a lady. "Just like I told you before, heel and then toe, heel and toe. And put some Swagger in it."

"Come on," Tony did so, except he started overdoing it, since he thought it looked too ridiculous.

"Stop being silly Tony," Abby raised her voice at her friend.

"Alright, Alright!" He walked exactly like Kate did, making sure he planted one foot directly in front of the other foot. Tony copied Kate perfectly for about ten steps. "Argh," Tony fell over.

McGee helped him to his feet and Tony nonchalantly walked the way Kate was and met up with Gibbs in the bullpen. "I see you're doing well with your walk Honey Dust," Gibbs said flatly, causing the others to giggle.

"About my name, Boss," Tony said.

"Hey Ducky," Gibbs said as Ducky walked into the bullpen to hand over a folder for Gibbs to read.

"Who do we have here?" Ducky asked. "I am Doctor Mallard," he introduced himself in the usual gentlemanly manner.

"No Ducky its," Kate began to say.

Ducky held Tony's hand in his and went to kiss the back of it as any gentleman would. Tony withdrew his hand quickly and slapped the ME in the face almost knocking him off his feet. "Whoa, you know, I knew a woman like you back in the early seventies," Ducky rubbed the sore part of his cheek before he continued the story.

"You never knew a woman like me, Ducky," Tony responded in his normal voice. He had thought of playing along with it but didn't want to give the team more ammunition.

"Anthony?" Ducky asked in shock. "Actually, I knew a guy like you in med school," he said. "I will see you tomorrow about the results there… Abigail, Caitlin, Jethro," he looked in Tony's direction. "Anthony," it was almost said in a hissing tone.

"This is for a case," Tony vigorously defended himself. "Hey, Ducky… Come on… Argh," Tony slipped once again and almost fell face first onto the floor. "Damn it," Tony cursed as he hit the desk in front of him.

"McGee!" Gibbs barked. "Get the surveillance equipment ready. Kate, bring the surveillance truck around. We leave in half an hour. Abbs, you can come help us out," Gibbs looked Tony up and down who was now fully dressed as a woman. "DiNozzo, don't just sit there and look pretty… Go practice in those heels being a woman," Gibbs said. In his mind, he could picture Tony grinning widely. "Tastefully!"

"About my name," Tony said.

"No chance in changing it now," Gibbs told him. "Practice walking… How is it said? Glide, heel and toe and don't forget to sway. Like Kate told you, think of how your girlfriends walk and act," he ordered.

"Yes Michael Caine," Tony mumbled.


	2. Chapter 2

_**This Reminds Me Of A Movie…chapter two**_

Tony/Honey Dust was dropped at the end of the street after they fixed his small listening device in his one earring and the other earring he could be heard in. They put a surveillance device for the team to see what he did in the necklace. He stumbled outside the back of the van and walked along the sidewalk into the area. Being a former cop and seeing a lot of hookers and his fare share of transvestites made it possible for him to spot. _This is Trans Central._ Tony thought.

'_Looking good Tony,'_ he heard McGee's voice in his ear.

"Thanks," Tony said.

'_Not that I meant it that way,'_ McGee quickly corrected himself.

Tony sighed, he was getting use to walking around in high heels, which was a big help.

"Looks like a new worker," Tony's sensitive ears picked up. He looked in their direction to give the crew a chance for facial recognition if needed be.

'_Stop checking out the women Tony,' _Abby's voice could be heard.

Tony shook his head as he walked by. "Hi Ladies," Tony said making sure he used a high pitched voice along with some street attitude that the other ladies would appreciate.

"Hey there," one of them greeted back, but it wasn't in such a friendly tone.

He made his way into the bar and sat down. The marine they were after was seen talking to transvestite women in the area, Tony needed to make his/her face seen and this was the perfect way. Anybody watching him would never know he wasn't a transvestite.

"Has he been seen in here yet?" He asked.

'_Stop talking to yourself DiNozzo,'_ Gibbs' voice came through the earring. _'And stop playing with your leg.'_

Tony sighed. It was apparent that Gibbs had a good vantage point looking into the bar and he could see everything. Tony gave a nod. It was still odd to be in this situation and of course he'd make sure to be the best at it. Tony observed everything with the eyes of an agent as well as a former cop. Looking for something to make his/her face noticed, in order to get the word around.

"This is a drink from the guy at the bar," one of the bartenders walked over and placed a bottle in front of him.

Tony looked over and took a mouthful from the bottle. He smiled over, giving small wave using just his finger to the man who was pointed out and gestured for him to come over. The middle aged man smiled at the invitation and got up to join Tony at the bar.

'_Me thinks someone is really getting into this a bit too easily,'_ Kate said. _'At least he knows how transvestites kiss.'_

Tony thought that was definitely worth a cruel trick. His eyes lit up a little, he had the perfect trick to play in mind. Tony's smile sweetened as the man sat down.

"Well hello there," The man said in a smooth voice. Tony immediately recognized the tone. Hell, he'd used that tone to pick up a woman and knew this guy was someone on the prowl.

"I haven't seen you around here before," He said as he quickly looked Tony over.

"This is my first time here," Tony answered making sure his voice sounded very feminine. _Just like his last girlfriend actually._ He mentally kept reminding himself to keep the same voice. You never know if someone's observing you. "I thought that this little bar looked great," Tony coyly explained.

"That it is. Hey, my name's Freddy," Fred extended his hand. Tony allowed him to take his as he dipped the hand and allowed them man to lightly kiss it "What's your name?"

"Honey Dust," Tony answered still holding his flirtatious smile.

"Ah, I see, that's a real cute name," Freddy replied. Obviously not knowing what the term Honey Dust referred to.

_Thank God for that,_ Tony thought to himself. "Thank you for the drink. My lips were sooo parched," Tony said sweetly. He could hear giggles from Abby and Kate. This was going to be tough to live it down.

"It looked like you needed it," Freddy said. "You have lovely hands. You ever thought of doing some hand product modeling like on television."

"You're such a sweetheart," Tony said, as he played up to the man. He then lightly tapped Freddy on the shoulder. "I bet you're just saying that," Tony giggled.

"So what do you think of our little bar," Freddy asked. "Think you'll come here again?"

Tony nodded and moved his head to flick the hair from his eyes. _Man, he could get use to this._ Tony thought to himself. "It's nice and quiet and very friendly. So yeah, I think I'll be here regularly," Tony answered.

"I'll be looking forward to seeing your pretty face again," Freddy replied.

"Oh stop it," Tony giggled again.

"See you around, Honey Dust," Freddy stood up and left.

"Bye Freddy," _this is the last undercover operation I do with the name Honey Dust._

'_The target has just walked in,'_ Gibbs voice came through. _'Attract his attention somehow.'_

Tony sighed heavily trying to think of a way to attract the target's attention. "How do you suggest I do that?" Tony asked as he covered his hand with his mouth.

'_Gee, I don't know Honey Dust,' _Gibbs answered. Tony could hear the ever so slight quiver in Gibbs' voice and that told him that he was being laughed at.

'_Come on Tony, how would you like a girl to get your attention?' _Abby's voice came through.

Tony's eyes widened for a second. This was just too cruel. Tony licked his lips and ran a finger around the bottle opening before stroking it from the neck to the bottom. He repeated this step a couple more times very slowly and softly. He looked around the room before he tried to make eye contact with the suspect.

_Oh, this is so, so wrong._ Finally the officer turned around and they made eye contact for a split second, but just long enough. Tony picked up the bottle and took a long sip. He provocatively used his tongue to lick his lips. He stopped short of deep throating the bottle to get his attention. It must have worked because the officer started to talk to the barman while the marine occasionally glanced over to his direction. Tony made sure their eyes connected with each glance. The barman nodded.

"I'd offer to buy you a drink," the marine walked past Tony. "But you already seem to be really enjoying that one," he said.

"I am," Tony replied in a slightly sensual female voice. "I really love loooong necks, so much," Tony took another sip.

"I can see that," The suspect answered. "What's your name?"

"Honey Dust," Tony replied while he massaged the bottle.

"Ahh, Honey Dust. I like that," the marine replied, quietly. "I love using honey dust," he added.

"So do I," Tony flirted.

Unfortunately the suspect didn't hang around to chat. Instead, he continued to walk through the area and into a back room that was closed off to everyone else. Tony made sure the people in the truck got a good view of the door.

Gibbs watched from across the street in the car. He wasn't surprised how well Tony took the personality he played for this mission. Even though Tony clearly stated how uncomfortable he felt. Tony had a knack for undercover work and pulled it off quite well. Gibbs thought that the others probably had a good laugh in the truck over how Tony pulled off his undercover performance. The target left, they still hadn't had the proof they so desperately needed.

To avoid suspicion on himself, Tony waited for about a half an hour before leaving the bar. There was one sure thing, he was never alone for more than three minutes and from that he knew he had convinced anyone in the bar. He walked outside with a swagger and, glided down the street.

* * *

_**NCIS Autopsy**_

Unfortunately for Tony's sake, the mission was going far too long for his liking. But he found himself able to relax more and perform the undercover work better. He just hoped he wasn't turning into another Dennis/Denise. Though he and the suspect talked a bit more, there was still no idea where or how the drugs where being passed. By the third night Tony was getting sick of being hit on by guys. That along with the fact that Ducky had avoided him since Tony had slapped him didn't make things feel any better.

This time Tony had arrived back at NCIS earlier than the other days and decided to head down to see Ducky in Autopsy to have a word with the ME.

"Can I help you Miss?" Palmer asked.

This was just too good an opportunity to pass up. "I'm here to see Doctor Mallard," Tony kept up the charade. It actually felt so easy to do. _After this mission I'm going to bong as many beers as I can and get laid._ Tony thought to himself.

"He's right this way," Palmer replied.

"Can we have some privacy?" Tony asked.

"Sure, Miss," Palmer said.

"Dust, Honey Dust" Tony corrected as he went into Ducky's small office in Autopsy.

"Hello Anthony," he was still mad about getting slapped but that didn't stop him from being polite.

"I wanted to apologize for the other night," Tony said as he used his regular voice and straightened the dress out. "It was a reflex. You didn't know it was me," he approached closer.

"Thanks for apologizing dear Anthony," Ducky said. "I was a bit taken aback by it, that's all," he was willing to drop it and the two hugged.

Unfortunately, Palmer chose that very moment to walk into the office. Tony quickly broke it off… Noticing the shocked look on Palmer's face, Tony draped his hand over Ducky's shoulder and started massaging his chest. "Oh, Doctor Mallard…" He quickly went back to his female voice. Jimmy tried not to look as Ducky kept on removing the hand.

"What is it Mister Palmer?" Ducky sounded annoyed, though it was impossible to tell who he was annoyed at. Was it with Tony who kept putting his arm around him and kept almost knocking his hat slightly or with Palmer for interrupting? Ducky readjusted his hat again. "Spit it out Mister Palmer… I don't have all night," Ducky said. "I really want to get home."

"I see," Palmer said as he still tried to look away. "Um, Doctor Mallard. There was some foreign metal body found in chest cavity of Louise Jane," Palmer said.

Tony's fingers started to stroke Ducky's cheek and now went to his neck. "Have you sent the sample to Abby?" Ducky asked while he maintained his composure rather well.

"Yes, it's down at her lab," Palmer said. "Though she won't be looking at it till the morning," Palmer continued trying to avert his gaze.

Ducky tried to read the report that Palmer had written up while, Tony concentrated on playing with his ear.

"Anthony!" Ducky shrugged him off. "I'm trying to work here," he said more calmly.

"Tony?" Palmer's jaw dropped.

"Yes?" Tony answered in his regular voice. He adjusted the dress and headed towards the elevator as if there was nothing amiss. "There a problem Jimmy?" He asked as he entered the elevator.

"No, it's just… It's you know," Palmer stammered. "Why?"

"Women's clothing is so relaxing," Tony answered. "You should try it sometime."

Palmer stood with his mouth open. Tony in woman's clothing was odd, but Tony was acting so normal.

"Don't look to worried," Ducky said. "Anthony's working on a case," he explained. This amused the young ME's assistant.

* * *

**A/N: Next Chapter Preview... Tony gets back at Kate for having a go at his transvestite mission... Much to the delight of the squad room. Gibbs learns how to take photos with his mobile. And something goes horribly wrong, or incredibly right depending on how you look at it.**

**For those who are wondering. Dennis/Denise was DEA in Twin Peaks who went undercover as a transvestite for a drug sting. But he found out that women's clothing relaxed him and he became a transvestite full time. Dennis/Denise was played by none other than X-Files Star David Duchovny... Useless info I know.**


	3. Chapter 3

"McGee," Gibbs called. McGee stood, surprised to see Gibbs approach him instead of the other way around.

"Yes Boss?" McGee asked.

"Do you know how to use this phone?" Gibbs asked him.

The question took McGee back a bit. Gibbs never asked a question like that. "Yes I do, Boss," McGee answered. "It's a basic model, very easy," McGee looked at the phone then up to his boss.

"I need you to show me how to do the camera doo da thingy," Gibbs said. 'Doo Da thingy was one of Gibbs' own techno terms. "I need to take photographs with this," Gibbs told McGee.

"What about your digicam?" McGee was given Gibbs' impatient stare. "Because you want to take photos with this… Gotcha Boss," McGee never missed a beat. "Well you see that little button there… You press that once," he explained slowly without going too slowly.

"Why can't they make phones like field radios and then it would be easier to see everything," Gibbs offered the suggestion.

McGee chose wisely to ignore the comment. "See that there, they're up and down arrows," he lifted the phone up for Gibbs to see. "You press the down key until that small camera is highlighted and then you press the bigger button again. Well now with this, when you want to take a photograph you just press the big button again and it'll take a picture. Easy," McGee said as he dumped it down just enough to make the boss think he wasn't dumping it down a lot. "To exit back to the main screen, just press this button," McGee said.

"Remind me that I owe you a coffee, McGee," Gibbs stood next to his desk.

Even though McGee thought that he'd never collect, the offer was enough to make him beam with a smile. He'd been on the team for a few months but never quite felt he fit in, yet. Tony's continuous teasing made it feel like High School all over again. If Gibbs remembered the coffee by himself, he'd gladly take it, but there was no way he'd ask for (his boss) to pay up. "Yes Boss," McGee replied.

****

Tony adjusted the dress and hair. The past few nights had been relatively successful. Tonight was the night Tony was going to meet up with Jayson Pyke, the Marine, to get him to buy the drugs that the owner's at the bar had passed onto Tony to deliver. The senior field agent

They found out the owner's of the bar were using the transvestites as middle people to make drugs deals for them. They had already paid Tony already for being the middle person, and McGee had that all on surveillance, so NCIS was ready for a bust on the place.

There were a few things that bothered Tony. One, he was tired of how Kate teased him about the transvestites. Tony was ready to put Kate in her place about his kiss with Voss, the transvestite from an earlier case. He came up from Abby's lab and approached the bullpen. Second, Tony tensed every time he was dressed for undercover around the many agents in the NCIS building. He was upset to feel heads turn in order to stare when he walked by.

"I seem to have a problem putting on my lipstick," Tony said to Kate. He looked past her and saw Gibbs stare intently at his phone, like the older man had a text message.

"I can help you with that," Kate happily volunteered to help. She had five brothers which was alright, only she always longed for a sister. Right now she had Abby. But she had always imagined a little sister that she could teach things to, like how to put on make-up. And Tony was the closest thing she had to the type she had imagined. _Oh, damn it! What the hell am I thinking?_ Kate screamed in her mind. "Is that better?" She asked.

"Hey wait, Katie," Tony held her by the arm lightly. "I just want to say something," he told her.

"What Tony?" Kate asked.

"I know this has been odd for you and I want to thank you for helping me with this," Tony tried to sound serious, "Couldn't have done this without you," he replied sincerely.

"No need to," Kate smiled at him.

"No I do need to," Tony sighed loudly to get everyone's attention. "But I'm so sick and tired of you teasing me about that little transvestite incident with Voss," Tony continued a little too calmly for Kate to trust. "I'm ending that," Tony said.

"How?" Kate dared to ask.

Just as she finished that sentence Tony dipped her and then kissed her passionately for a long time before pulling away. "Did you enjoy that bit of Honey?" Tony winked at her before he kissed her once again.

All the agents that saw this fought to get out their cell phones and snap a picture of what looked like two women in a passionate kiss. Tony withdrew once again and smiled at Kate. There were juvenile wolf whistles and cheers as Tony vacated the area to leave Kate totally stunned.

Gibbs sat back at his desk, smiled proudly as he thought about the situation he'd just witnessed. Tony always knew how to make the best of any situation. He than fought back the chuckle that sat in his throat.

Eventually, the excitement of the show and muttered comments amongst the other agents of the squad room died down.

"Atta Boy, DiNozzo," Gibbs said quietly.

* * *

_**BAR**_

Tony sat at his usual table in the bar. He had the cocaine well concealed within the black case that sat on the floor. Jayson Pyke came into the bar right on schedule and sat down in front of Tony after he got drinks from the bar.

"Long neck?" Jayson asked. He remembered the first night that their eyes met and what Honey's drink of choice was.

"I love loooong necks," Tony said as he implied a sexual innuendo to it. She lifted the bottle and began to sip the cold drink. "Hm, nice," Tony gave an alluring smile.

"Yeah," Jayson acted a little relaxed. "You got my merchandise?" He asked Tony.

Tony bent down and slightly opened up the case to show him the bag of cocaine which was expertly hidden along with a GPS chip planted in the case. "Top of the line I was told," Tony said.

(Jayson took the case when Tony slid it to him. "Good," he whispered to Tony. "You know I like dealing with Transvestites… They're honest. Sure, people think they hide…" Jayson explained. "But I think transvestites are the only ones that you can truly trust. You know," he adjusted himself in the seat. "You know what I think… I think that they're the most honest people in this world. They're the only ones with enough guts to be who they want to be. I admire that," Jayson told him and then stood up.

"Where are you going?" Tony asked as he went to stand up, he had to get the money for a conviction.

"Here, all there in the envelope." Jayson slid the envelope filled with money across the table. .Tony grabbed the envelope and put it into his purse. "Hey!" Tony called out to where Jayson was heading. "Got the money, deal was made but he's gonna rabbit. On his way out, I'm in pursuit." Tony calmly told his team, "Hey!" Tony called out to where Jayson was heading

Tony had worked in Vice a few times and knew the drill. He then jumped forward and headed out. He had a slim chance to reach this guy. The heels slowed him down but at least he could try. Tony was glad that the GPS chip would at least give them the direction of where Jayson was going, if he couldn't catch up with the man.

'_Watch out!'_ Kate's voice screamed in Tony's ear.

Tony hadn't realized that he'd just walked out onto the side of the road. He was to intent on the suspect. This was the same time that Kate was drove the car in order to chase down Jayson Pyke. She didn't see Tony until it was too late and clipped him. He was knocked to the ground and continuously rolled on his side until he came to an unassisted stop.

"Tony," She shouted. "Tony is down Gibbs," Kate said into the small microphone before tearing it away from her face.

'_Call him an ambulance,'_ Gibbs ordered. _'I'm going after Pyke, with McGee, he can trace the GPS chip.'_ he said.

Kate obediently did so. "Tony?" She sat down beside him as he rolled onto his back. "Ambulance is on its way, just stay still," Kate said. She could feel the overwhelming guilt from running over her partner.

Tony opened his eyes. He felt a little sore and very dizzy, but other than that felt fine. He saw Kate rush to his side. "Kate," he said. "You hit me with the car." Tony's voice held a bemused ring to it.

"I didn't mean to," she replied and watched Tony close his eyes. "If you say that this reminds you of a movie. I'm going to kick your ass for sure," Kate warned.

Tony sighed heavily. "There's a LEO as a transvestite that gets hit by a car driven by his partner…" Tony fought to stay conscious. "Nope… Can't think of a movie reference," he laughed weakly.

"Tony?" Kate asked in a confused tone. "Stay with me," she ordered him.

Tony's eyes didn't reopen. "You know… I thought getting hit by a car would be more painful," his voice faded out along with all the street noise. Kate waited there for the ambulance to arrive.

* * *

_**Bethesda Hospital**_

Kate watched the doctor check the pupil response from Tony's eyes. He shined a light into them and looked for the response. He seemed to be quite pleased with the pupil's response to the intrusive light.

"There doesn't seem to be any sign of a concussion," The doctor said as he pocketed the penlight and turned his attention to Kate. "Agent DiNozzo is very lucky, the injury is minimal," the doctor assured Kate.

"So he's going to be alright then?" Kate asked with concern. She hadn't taken her eyes off Tony since she was allowed to see him.

"We'll know more when he comes around. We'll see if he has a headache, nausea and can answer all the concussion questions right, and then we'll be sure there is none. We'll also be taking a couple of X-Rays before we can say anything for certain," the doctor explained though he was clearly optimistic. "The fact that you said he was lucid and not in pain means that his injuries seem to be kept to minimal," he explained to her.

"That's good," Kate replied but she had already zoned out.

"Are you two in a relationship?" The doctor asked.

"No…" Kate answered as she quickly shook her head. "We're partners, we work together," she said, even though they were more than just partners. Nobody else needed to know that.

"You're close?" The doctor asked.

"Yes," Kate answered. Truth be told, they were very close, probably closer than she would've ever liked.

"Did you see what happened?" The doctor asked.

"I hit him with the car," Kate answered as if there was nothing odd about it. How else were you supposed to act after you run your partner over with the car? Kate mentally kicked herself. It was an accident and nobody should see it differently, especially herself. "Do you mind? I have to go and call my boss to keep him updated," she said.

"Sure, go right ahead. I'll have a nurse let you know when he wakes or before we take him up for the X-Rays" The doctor said.

* * *

_**A/N: Tony wakes up, but things starts getting weird when the nurses seem to be a bit more loose lipped**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**This Reminds Me Of A Movie**_

Tony woke up and instantly recognized that he was in the hospital. "Oh man you're going to be pissed when you find out I hit you with the car," Tony heard Kate's voice before he opened his eyes.

"You didn't do it on purpose did you?" Tony asked as he went to pour himself a glass of water to wet his parched mouth.

"I've been here all friggin' night worrying about you and you have the nerve to ask me that," Kate's voice was loud. "No, I didn't," she answered, her voice calming down. "How are you feeling?" She asked him in a concerned tone. "_If you tell me you're fine I swear I'll kick your ass_," the concern left her voice.

"I'm a little sore… But other than that, I'm ok," Tony responded.

"Good," Kate replied. She studied him closely to see if he was indeed telling the truth. "Well you look alright…. Convince me," she said coolly.

Tony thought hard for a moment. What could he possibly say to convince her that he's fine? "What do you want me to say?" Tony asked shrugging his shoulders.

"_Mention Bond… Go on, I'll let it slide just for now_," Kate answered.

"I want to see Goldfinger and From Russia To Love as soon as I get home… How'that?" Tony replied. There was something about the way Kate sounded that got him thinking. It almost sounded like a form of duality.

"We better wrap this up… I got to get back to work," Kate checked her watch again.

"You know, I think I'm just going to sleep until I get discharged," Tony responded. "But I need some clothes… If you can see to it that I have clothes when I'm discharged… Thanks," Tony was relieved to find that he'd been taken out of the dress and given the hospital pajamas. He was also happy that the wig was gone and he hoped the make-up was too.

"Hey Kate, is the make-up off my face?" His voice tinged with embarrassment as he asked.

"Yes, I made sure I washed it all off once the doctor finished your exam. I also took off the nails and the jewelry. Can't have the surveillance lost in the shuffle." She assured him.

"Great, thank God…..I mean thanks." His face warmed in a blush.

"DiNozzo, you're blushing." Kate laughed lightly.

"I am not. It's just warm in the room." Tony said trying to save face.

"Sure you are, Tony. I really should be going I have to get this stuff back and get to work." She told him as she got up to leave.

"Good morning Agent DiNozzo," A nurse greeted as she entered. "Hmm, that's a nice dress… _Maybe if I can ask, they'll let me have it_," she added.

"I'd like nothing better than to give the dress to a nurse. Don't think it would fit but you can have it altered." Tony smiled using his charm.

"What?" She asked dumbfounded. "I didn't," she began to say.

"Alright… I'm going to close my eyes and take a nap," Tony said. "Then if I happen to find it missing when I awake… There's nothing I could do," he closed his eyes.

"Oh… My… God," The nurse responded loudly.

"Quietly," Tony said without opening his eyes. He was trying to do a favor but it wouldn't work if she was acting so noisily about it. Fortunately his words seem to calm her down and she left.

A different nurse had woken Tony up as soon as she entered. Tony sat straight up and watched her. "Good news… You're being discharged," she told him. "That should make you happy. _What?! I bet you've got a list of complaints now_," she said snappily

"I have no complaints," Tony raised his hand up. "My stay has been pleasant and the staff's been great," he said earnestly.

"Good," The nurse smiled. She was happy with the praise that Tony had given her. "Usually people whine about everything," she left the room with a huge smile on her face.

Tony thought that the women of the hospital were easily pleased. "Or maybe I'm just on a roll," he commented to himself. It seemed that he couldn't put a foot wrong this morning. Today was going to be a great day he could feel it.

* * *

_**NCIS Bullpen… (two days later)**_

Tony swallowed another mild painkiller. It seemed that every woman he came in contact with were in more of a talkative mood, he couldn't understand it. And all that chatter made his headache more persistent.

"Spent last night bonging beers, Tony?" Kate asked from across the bullpen.

Tony smiled in annoyance as he rested his eyes to allow the painkiller to take effect more quickly. "No," he answered unsmiling.

'_You can't even admit you were drinking last night…_ _Pathetic'_," Tony heard Kate say.

"If I was drinking last night I would have told you," Tony snapped. He was always bragging about his drinking exploits with her.

"What?" Kate asked as she looked at him suspiciously.

"Have you ever known me to withhold a drinking session from you Kate?" Tony asked her seriously.

"No," Kate shook her head. "But there's always a first time," she added.

"You know you're starting to sound like Jekyll and Hyde lately," Tony shook his head. He noticed the blank look on her face. "Oh right, you don't know who Jekyll and Hyde are…" Tony snorted. Kate never understood the movie references.

"_It doesn't take a movie buff to know of Jekyll and Hyde. It was a play at first_," Kate said.

"Oh it was a play… As if I didn't know that. Duh!" Tony snapped.

"What was that for?" Kate asked. She couldn't figure out why the sudden snapping. '_It's like being hit from one of his moods. Hell, maybe it's his time of the month.'_

"Really funny Kate," Tony responded as he shook his head. He was still feeling the effects of the headache. "I'm going to the cafeteria," Tony stood up.

Tony watched Kate shake her head as he left the area. Unfortunately, in his mood he wasn't paying attention to where he was going and bumped into a female agent who was walking by. "Hey watch where you're going," she said with complete annoyance. "Agent Asshole," she added. Tony turned around and watched her walk by. That comment hurt. So he bumped into somebody. "Yeah, that's right no apology… No nothing," She said without turning around.

"Look I'm sorry, ok?" Tony said. "I wasn't looking where I was going," he explained his clumsiness.

"Thanks," she smiled.

"Oh no… Oh no, I think I left the gas on. No, no, no," Tony had to move out of the way before he was knocked over by an agent who clearly had her mind on something else.

"This place has gone nuts," Tony said to himself as he continued to walk.

As soon as he was about to make it to the elevator, another agent stepped in front of him and they almost bumped into one another. Then, they did the old fashioned walking dance. Both swayed from left to right to make it around each other.

"Sorry," Tony said.

"That's alright," She answered and looked up to Tony. **'Why won't you ask me out?'** _'Why won't you ask me out?'_

Tony froze. He hadn't seen her lips move when she said that. That was something out of the ordinary. Something felt really out of place. Of course the Agent wouldn't say anything like that. She took the opportunity to move around the Tony while he stood there, bewildered. Tony then decided it was best to bypass the cafeteria and head straight down to Ducky.

* * *

_**AUTOPSY**_

"What brings you down here Anthony?" Ducky asked. He wasn't aware that Team Gibbs had needed him for anything. Actually it had been some time since they'd provided the ME with a body.

"I think I need a checkup Ducky," Tony sat on one of the autopsy tables.

This shocked Ducky. It was usually a power struggle to get Tony to agree to a checkup. Yet, there Tony sat… waiting for one. "Are you feeling poorly?" Ducky asked. "Nausea, vomiting, headaches or confusion?" He knew that Tony had been hit by a car during the operation.

"Just a headache," Tony said. "But that's not the problem… I'm hearing things," Tony elaborated.

"Follow my finger," Ducky instructed Tony as he moved his finger from right to left then up and down. "What are you hearing?" Ducky asked. "Pupil response is good," he added.

"I don't know exactly," Tony responded. "I thought one agent was just talking, but we were facing each other and she said something but her lips weren't moving," he tried to make sense of something he didn't understand, something he didn't know if anyone would understand, even Ducky… "And people are starting to sound funny. Like they have different sounding voices," he continued the explanation making it sound even more confusing.

"How do I sound my dear boy?" Ducky checked for bruising on the back of the head.

"You sound perfectly fine," Tony answered as he waited for what he hoped would be the all clear. Or maybe to find out he had some bleeding on the brain or anything that would explain what was happening to him. This was all too weird, kept spinning in his head. "Honestly, it only seems to be with females." Tony added.

"Doesn't seem to be anything wrong," Ducky observed. "So only females seem to be affecting your hearing?" Ducky asked.

"Yes," Tony said as he shrugged his shoulders and hopped off the table. "Oh you're right, it does sound a little crazy. It sounds really crazy. I'm going back up." Tony said. It really did sound crazy. Maybe his hearing was a little shot. He walked quickly to the elevator before Ducky had a chance to have him committed.

Tony went back to the bullpen where Kate was sitting catching up on her report. McGee and Gibbs had been off catching the suspect. They were due to bring him in any minute which meant that they could bring the case to a close. Tony could finally put the whole Honey Dust the transvestite undercover op behind him.

"Hmm," Kate said as Tony walked by. "_I wonder what you'd be like if I fed after midnight_," she said thoughtfully. "_Gizmo?_"

"Excuse me?" Tony turned around. That comment shocked him. Was Kate talking gremlins?

"I didn't say anything," Kate shook her head. "Darn where was I?"

Tony planted his palms on her desk. "Did you just compare me with a gremlin?" Tony asked her in a shocked tone. "You think I'm as cuddly as Gizmo? Oh, I'm so proud of you,"

"I don't know what you're talking about. I think you need a cat scan," Kate said. "_Maybe I did hit him harder than I thought,_" Kate continued.

"Whoa, wait a minute," Tony told her with his hand raised. "Listen, I'll be right back." he added.

"What?" Kate asked.

Abby came into the bullpen quickly. "Hey Kate!" She exclaimed excitedly. "Have you seen Gibbs or Timmy yet? I almost have the tests completed and he asked me to give them to him right away… So could you tell him to come and see me as soon as they get back? I know he'd probably come down as soon as he does, but I need you to make sure he does."

Kate's head started to spin. "Got it Abbs," she said.

"Tony!" Abby exclaimed. "You're back! How many numbers did you get while you were in there?" She asked.

"Not many," Tony said, smiling.

"That's good," Abby said. "I've been stuck down in the lab all day. _And nobody's been down to give me a Caf-Pow,_" she said loudly. "_I wonder if I put Red bull into a cup of Caf-pow whether that would take"_

Tony brought his hand from behind his back and produced a large Caf-Pow. Abby and Kate looked up in shock. "There you go," he said. "And I wouldn't try putting Red bull in that… Could be dangerous," he replied.

"Tony!" Abby exclaimed excitedly. "Come with me!"

"What?" Tony asked.

"You evil little devil you," Abby smiled in delight. Tony looked blankly. "You can read my mind?"

"What?" Tony asked. "No I can't read minds. You just said that Red Bull stuff and I was advising against it." He said.

"I didn't say anything about putting Red Bull in my Caf Pow," Abby excitably told him, "but I was thinking it. Come on Tony. You can read my mind," she persisted.

"No I can't," Tony responded, "People can't read minds," He adamantly said.

"What am I thinking of right now?" Abby asked.

"This is ridiculous," Tony shook his head. "As if you'd be thinking ninety eight thousand and one point one two," he said. Abby raised her eyebrow. "This is impossible," he stated, not knowing where that came from.

"My God," Abby said. "_I've got my own personal science experiment_… Yippee! I thought of the most random thing I could think of," Abby almost shouted.

"Abbs!" Tony responded. "I'm not your experiment," He bluntly told her. After all he wasn't a rat and this whole idea was ridiculous, or was it? He blinked thinking about the last few days, yet now quiet believing it.

"Whoops," Abby said as she went to cover her mouth. "Oh wait," she placed her hands over her forehead. "Is that better?" She asked.

Tony rolled his eyes. "I don't think that'll help," he said. "No, I'm not going to spend a week at your place so you can study me," he again refused.

"No, it doesn't work," Abby frowned for a split second.

Tony sighed. The worse thing was that her thoughts sounded exactly the same way she talked. Loud, jumbled and fast. He walked back toward the bullpen. "So wait, can you read everybody's mind?" Abby asked.

"No, just the women," Tony answered. "I don't know if you can call it reading minds… I can just hear there thoughts," he explained and then suddenly realized what he had said. Abby was right, he was hearing what women were thinking, it was bizarre.

"This is just like, What Women Want," Abby replied.

"Women want men to read their minds," he said flatly and then stopped himself, "oh wait, you mean the movie with Mel Gibson and Helen Hunt," Tony said. "I agree, and yes you maybe right, the tests probably are done by now," Tony walked Abby to the elevator. "You're probably right that you'll need to watch what you think around me," Tony laughed at having the one way conversation and what he had just realized.

"_If I get those reports done, I can leave early for lunch_," Tony heard someone think.

"You know I can actually tell the thoughts from voices now," Tony said as Abby moved towards the elevator. "It's funny when you know what's going on,"

"_**Nobody seems to notice I'm here**_," A troubled someone said. "_**I wonder if I shoot myself now… Who would care? And how long till they discover my body?"**_

Tony straightened. That one sent a shiver down his spine. "What's the matter Tony?" Abby asked. But Tony was busy trying to figure who the last thought belonged to. It was suddenly gone.

"I think it's nothing," Tony said without turning around.

* * *


	5. Chapter 5

Tony breathed in deeply as he headed to the woman in the records department. He'd hoped that nobody had noticed that he was deliberately avoiding women from NCIS. The continuous talk was confusing and made his head spin. But,** one voice,** stood out from all the rest. Somehow, Tony had to find the file of the woman whose voice he'd heard, find out who she was. The female agent or employee was defiantly in a great deal of emotional and mental pain, she was so distressed along with being depressed that it worried him. To tell the truth, the thoughts that he heard from this mysterious woman had been constantly on his mind, haunting him. He even had trouble sleeping last night, hoping she hadn't done anything to herself. He just hoped he could get to her in time and this was where he needed to start his own investigation.

"How can I help you?" The woman asked.

"I'm Tony DiNozzo," Tony answered, showing his ID.

_Oh yeah, I know you. _"How can I help you?" She asked, standing behind the counter that lead back to all files and records from the agency.

Tony coughed. "I need a name of a female agent or employee that was at work yesterday at about fourteen hundred hours," he stated.

_Typical, nobody comes to see how I'm doing. Nobody brings me anything. No coffee, no flowers. _"Name," she said.

"Sorry," Tony said. "No name."

_You have to make it impossible don't you? Damn it!_ "I can give you a list of names, of all the women who were working in this building at that time. I just won't be able to give you all the files that you need." she replied.

"I understand," Tony said, giving her a sideways glance. It still took some getting use to. It was almost impossible to not react to what they were thinking. "Thank you," he said as he took the list of names.

* * *

_**NCIS bullpen**_

_Tony!_ That was what Tony had heard way before "Tony!" came out of Abby's exuberant mouth. Tony rubbed his eyes for a moment. _What's wrong Tony?_

Tony took Abby aside. "Can you at least think a little quieter, Abby?" He gently told her while he rubbed his temples, "Sorry, it's just the noise level. Hey," he mused for a second, "Where do girls go to stop thinking or clear their heads? And is there a place in this building to go?" Tony asked, remembering hearing the women's voice in the building and she had to be close enough to him, "Bottom floors, autopsy and your lab?" He questioned.

_Oh poor Tony. _"Oh, well, we go to day spas or weekend retreats or even go and do yoga. Oh and then there's quiet time in the park or a drive or even at home." Abby answered quickly. _I can just imagine you trying to put your foot behind your head in a yoga class. She snickered to herself, forgetting that Tony could hear her thoughts, _"Oh downstairs, um maybe the stairwell? There aren't many places down there. A closet, but that's silly it's a janitorial one, by my lab. Oh and there's a bathroom down there too, both on my floor and Ducky's." She finished wondering why he wanted to know.

"I might be good at it. And it doesn't matter right now why I want to know." Tony sighed, knowing he had answered a non-verbal thought.

"But, you look troubled about whatever this is." Abby frowned, careful not to take notice that he answered what she had been thinking. She'd find the time to ask him about it. Damn, you know what I'm thinking, she tried to stop her thoughts and not rattle him more. Realizing she couldn't, she figured after he answered her she'd go back to her lab, she did have tests running.

"Oh, it's nothing right now," Tony gave a vague response. There wasn't much anyone could do at the moment. He had started doing what he could for his quest. If he heard that voice again, he'd definitely pay more attention to it and find who it belonged to. He had to before something happened, or before he drove himself crazy.

"I've got to go," Abby said. "Gibbs has me running prints from the operation and I'm expecting him back any moment," she said.

* * *

_**INTERROGATION**_

Tony waited in the observation room while he watched Gibbs question the female co-owner of the bar that they had been at for the bust. Gibbs hadn't listened to Tony's request to take the interview. Tony decided it was best not to tell his boss what was going on with him.

Gibbs went through the usual line of questioning. Soon it got to whether she knew what was happening in her own bar. "So are you saying that you had no idea that drugs were being sold at the bar?" Gibbs questioned.

"I had no idea," Lillian replied. "I'm part owner... I can't keep an eye on every little thing going on. I wish I could. I would never in a million years allow this to happen under my nose," Lillian stated with a bit of agitation. "Jayson may have been a regular... But I would've never pegged him for selling drugs in my bar." She added.

She had Gibbs believing her, which was quite obvious. The case had gone smoothly and they were able to track down the drugs and catch Jayson red handed. Of course anything like this would hold a deeper conspiracy. It was just a matter of figuring who was involved.

"Who else would know what was going on better than you?" Gibbs asked.

"I'm not sure," she said sobbing into her hands, "they could have told me. They would've told me," Lillian said in between sobbing breaths. "I try to run a clean establishment and this hurts my business and me, personally," She explained.

Gibbs did feel something for her. Anything can reflect badly on the owners. But one of his rules that he made his agents memorize was, never to assume. And Leroy Jethro Gibbs wasn't going to break one of his own rules, someone was behind this.

"Had any of the people behind the bar reported seeing anything suspicious?" Gibbs asked. "Or have any of them acted suspiciously? What about the other owner?" He pushed.

"Tommy has always been a shady guy, he works the bar. And I don't know about my partner. I'm the one who runs the bar. He's just a silent partner," Lillian eventually answered.

Gibbs thought for a minute and considered everything the woman had said. He saw that she obviously felt badly about ratting out one of her valued employees. "We'll have to have a word with him and your silent partner," he said in a friendly tone. He then slid a pad and pen to her, "I need names. The bartender and your partner's, along with anyone else you can think of." He explained.

"I always trusted him you know?" Lillian said. "I can't believe I was made a fool of," The woman continued. She then wrote down the names that Gibbs wanted and dropped the pen on the pad.

Gibbs nodded as he picked up the pad and pen. He was about to say something else when he was interrupted by DiNozzo bursting through the door. Normally, Tony wouldn't risk interrupting Gibbs' interrogation, but this was important.

"DiNozzo?" it was almost shouting.

"Why don't you tell him the real reason? What's really going on?" Tony asked the suspect, leaning on the table, his upper body supported by the palms of his hands and his eyes glaring at the woman, "What about how you knew what was going on and often received a large cut for turning a blind eye," Tony's voice lowered dangerously.

"I don't know what you mean..." She answered.

"Come on... I know that you're playing Gibbs, here. You realize..." Tony began to say only to be ushered out the door by his boss.

"You got to realize you're being played here, Boss," Tony said in exasperation. "She's lying to you."

"What do you base that on?" Gibbs asked.

_I can't tell him the truth. I can't say... Hey I hear what women want, what they think. And, she's thinking she's getting away with it all and doing a snow job on you. I'd be dead on that last part, Tony knew, _"I just know. Seriously Boss, she's trying to play you," Tony pleaded for his boss to believe him. He had decided to say what he thought anyway, he had to. "My gut is telling me, ok? After watching and listening, she's hiding the truth, boss," Tony tried a different angle, it was better than saying he heard the woman's thoughts. "We go by your gut all the time and you've trusted mine over the years. Come on, boss," he fought, pulling out all he could to convince, Gibbs.

"Do you have any proof we can go on?" Gibbs asked. Tony shook his head, "well if you're so sure she's lying... I need evidence to back it. Go use your gut and get me some," he ordered, "And you do know the rules and you didn't have any evidence to back you coming into interrogation. Don't ever come barging in like that again when I'm questioning someone... Do I make myself clear?" Gibbs admonished.

"But Boss," Tony responded.

"Do I make myself clear?!" Gibbs ordered an affirmative response.

"Crystal, Boss," Tony said coldly before returning to the bullpen. Of course he'd have to find evidence of what he knew. The question again was how to get it.

* * *

_**NCIS BULLPEN**_

"What's the matter with you?" Kate asked as soon as Tony walked into the bullpen.

Tony didn't answer her at first. There were several things running through his mind. There was Lillian, there was the woman who was thinking of killing herself and there was the excessive thinking from every woman in the **whole** NCIS building. Tony humphed a response as he shifted his legs a bit to stretch out.

He felt stressed. He couldn't turn off all the chatter going on inside his head from so many different places. There were woman at their desks close enough for him to hear. Damn, he needed to know how far he had to be from a woman and not hear them, he thought with disgust. And then there was the regular talking from everyone. And then there still was the poor woman that he needed to find and help before something bad happened to her. And on top of that, he knew the truth behind the bust, which Lillian was lying about and doing a great job at it. Shit, he was so screwed. Well, maybe it's time to get some work done, either with the case or check these names.

Kate happened to be carrying her file at the same time Tony stretched his legs out, she tripped slightly and knocked her file to the floor by Tony's feet. She bent down to pick it up and noticed he was deep in thought. Before standing up, her eyes wandered and stopped at his crotch. _'Oh God, I just checked out his crotch!'_

The sudden realization of hearing Kate's thoughts and seeing her gaze at his crotch from the corner of his eyes even caught Tony by surprise. He was good and it only took a split second for him to regain his composure. This was definitely going to be fun to tease her with. Tony gave a small pelvic thrust in his chair as if rearranging himself. This was enough to catch Kate's attention again.

_Oh no! I can't believe I did that again'_

"Is something the matter Kate?" Tony did his best to act nonchalant about it, but his voice slightly quivered as he attempted to stop himself from laughing.

_'Maybe if I act normal he won't notice anything'_ Kate quickly went and sat back at her desk. She made sure to act as if she were intently concentrating on the computer screen. "No..." she said quietly. "Nothing is wrong."

"I've got somewhere to be," Tony got up and walked towards the elevator.

* * *

_**RECORDS DEPARTMENT**_

This time Tony entered the records department prepared. He saw the impatient eyes of Linda glare at him. It was getting towards the end of the day. "Hi there," Tony said with a smile as he planted the roses on the counter in front of her.

"I love red roses," Linda said. _'At times I can't see why people think you're an ass'_

Tony's eyes widened but then narrowed back to normal in a flash. "So how's the afternoon been?" He asked as he ignored her thoughts. Perhaps, (he could control this in some way, it was something he'd have to figure out later.

"It's been alright," she answered with a smile. Happy someone at least had shown some interest. "What can I do for you?" She asked. With the attention Tony had given her, she was more helpful than earlier in the day.

Tony relayed how he needed to find the female roster of names from a couple of days ago. He also needed the names that were not on the roster today. He'd walked through most of the building and went to the places Abby had told him about, down by where he was when he heard the lady. But hadn't heard the depressed voice again. It was surprising when Linda went to the desk computer and began checking up on the records.

"There's a Stephanie Tyler, Denise Bryson, Dana Carol," Linda said.

"Are they on tomorrow's roster?" Tony asked her.

"Yes," Linda answered.

He thought it would be better not to just stop by and see the three women. Instead he figured it would be better to think of an excuse to see them. He could refer to his computer to find the departments they worked in, or the team, if they were agents. After all he'd seen McGee do things like this many times and he had done it himself with paperwork. If while looking for them by using his excuses and one of them didn't show up for work the next day. Then he'd figure out what to do then. Tony circled those three names on the list he had.

"Thank you so much," Tony said earnestly. "You better get those in water fast before they dehydrate," Tony said lightly before leaving. At least now he had something to go on but prayed that he wasn't too late and had a chance to help out the poor woman.


End file.
